What are you afraid of?

Welcome to today's issue of The Daily Dose of Motivational Medicine. The e-zine of Motivateme: Breaking the Procrastination Habit. http://www.motivateme.info. Have you signed up for your daily dose yet?
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The minute you start talking about what you’re going to do if you lose, you have lost”
George Shultz
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What are you afraid of?
Fear has been described as:
- A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
- A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in fear.
- A feeling of disquiet or apprehension: a fear of looking foolish.
- Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
- A reason for dread or apprehension: Being alone is my greatest fear.
www.dictionary.com
 
It is interesting to note that most people will admit to having a phobia – “I’m afraid of heights”; “I don’t like speaking in public”, but will not admit that they delay doing things because they are afraid of either doing the task, or what will happen when they do.
 
The difference between fear and a phobia is - a phobia can be classed as:
 
- A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous.
- A strong fear, dislike, or aversion.
www.dictionary.com
 
So what are you afraid of?
 
I have a real dislike for reptiles, especially snakes, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that I do not come into contact with them. Living in Australia with 9 out of the 10 most deadliest land snakes in residence you would think this would be almost impossible to do. However, apart from controlled situations – for example displays, I have only seen one snake in the “wild” and I ran over the poor thing on the road. Thankfully for the snake, another car had just done the same, so by the time my car ran over the remains, it had long since passed into the next dimension.
 
Fear keeps up doing the same things over and over again. We repeat patterns of behaviour, because we are afraid of what will happen if we don’t. Repeated patterns of behaviour means we react in exactly the same way to the same kind of stimuli. I will "jump" if I see a snake strike on the television. I know it's going to happen but I jump anyway.

Are you afraid of failure?
Those people who are afraid of failure are those people who rarely try anything new. If they don’t start a project they can’t fail can they?
 
Are you afraid of success?
Those people who are afraid of success are likely to sabotage their own efforts, or allow their efforts to be sabotaged. Or they give up half way through. How many people have been on a diet? How many times have people said to you “oh go on, it’s only a small piece!” and you have been persuaded to take something that you didn’t want.
 
Are you afraid of change?
The reason why a lot of people fear success is because it usually means considerable change, and not just for you. And the ones that fear the changes the most are those people who profess to love and care for us.
“What are you doing that for?”
“I like you just the way you are”.
 
You see, fear based comments do not have to be an outright attack, sometimes subtle comments repeated often enough are all it takes for someone to stop you right in your tracks. The point is they don’t want you to change, they are happy with the status quo. They fear that they will lose their “hold” over you and their place in their version of the perceived hierarchy.
Yes – they fear you, and the power that positive change will have over you. So they will do everything in their power to sabotage your efforts. Of course they may not do this deliberately; a lot of what we say and do is habitual.
 
But this is also important for you too. Trying to make too many changes all at once can be overwhelming and it becomes easy to slip back into the old way of doing things. Then those people who have been telling you all along that you are no good – will now be able to say – I told you so. You are hopeless, you can never finish anything.” They will move from being fearful to dominant – and you may find it extremely difficult to start all over again. Because you may feel that you have “failed”.
 
If you encounter this kind of behaviour on a daily basis – and loved ones are prime candidates. You may have even unknowingly done this yourself. You should avoid telling them your grand plans. Make small but subtle changes, so that they are not shocked by the “new you”.
 
The point is, if we are to break free from the fear of success and failure, we have to change poor habits for better ones. And as you probably know, this can and does take time. If you have ever tried to lose weight, you will know that you can’t lose more than a pound or two a week, and keep it off, no matter how much you may try.
 
It has taken time to reach the point you are at now, so small but measurable steps are important, and that goes for everything you want to do.
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