How is your personal personal relationship?

Today we have a look at our relationships with people. We all have them - unless you are a hermit of course. They can both enhance and detract from your personal life, your working life and your relationship with yourself. "Yourself"? yes, even a hermit has one relationship - they have a relationship with themselves, and so do you. How is your personal, personal relationship anyway?

Do you treat your body with respect? Do you feed it good food - all the time? Of course you don't. With all the added sugars, salts and fats in most of the foods that we eat, it is extremely hard to eat "properly" unless you create the foods yourself, which as we all know is hard to do especially when our routines are disrupted, for example, when we travel, or when we get stuck in traffic jams and don't get home when we hope we're going to.

Do you exercise your mind as well as your body? It's good to go to the gym, to ease out the kinks and strengthen and tone the body. But it's also good to exercise the mind. Studies have shown that the more and varied the thought processes you engage in can dramatically reduce the incidents and severity of alzheimers. So don't read the same types of books by the same types of authors, do crossword puzzles and mind games. Exercise the mind - or you won't be able to berate yourself in later life.

Do you speak kindly to yourself - all the time? I doubt it, we have about 20,000 thoughts running through our minds on a daily basis - how many of those do you think are positive? If you have been a regular reader of this column we have spoken in the past about learning how to watch your thoughts and to "try" and stop the negative thought processes that we have. Believe me when I say, I'm still learning this how do this one. But it is one of the ones I feel that can have the greatest benefit to our personal, personal relationship.

Do you give out positive "energy" when you interact with people? Are you a joy to be around or are your relationships purely transactional? Transactional relationships are quite interesting. It says - if you do this for me, I will do something or other for you. And what happens when those other people don't "perform" to your liking? Well you feel entitled to withdraw your energy from them....

Can you imagine how sad the world would be, if the only time we did something for another person was in the knowledge that we would get something in return? Of course there are those people who do give without fear or thought that they will receive anything from anyone - but we are not talking martydom here either. And as we know there are some people who will continue to take more than their fair share, eat more than they need and never do anything for anyone else - unless they know it will also benefit themselves. But I know that's not you.

So what can we do to enhance our personal personal relationship?

Treat your body and mind with respect. Eat well, exercise, don't drink to excess (at least not all the time), cut back on the stimulants and the chemical enhancers (drugs), avoid situations that are or can be potentially damaging to your health (smoky atmospheres). Sleep well, rest before your body demands that you stop doing whatever it is you are doing. Learn how to quieten the mind - meditation, soothing massage, long soaks in the bath. Turn off the artificial light and spend time in candlelight - or better still outdoors. Re-connect with yourself through other people. Phone someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Write a letter. Spend quality time with yourself and you will be more open to spending quality time with other people. Learn to be like that hermit - at peace with your own company and you will exude a radiance that can't be bought by purchasing even the most expensive creams.

And try - every day, to do something for someone without a) them knowing, and/or b) expecting something in return.

I once bought a couple of dozen $1 scratchie's and started posting them to people. No note, no letters, just a gift of hope to people who needed a boost...and lets face it, we all need one of those once in a while.

And you know what, I had a smile on my face for days - and you know what else happened, people started to smile back. They didn't know why I was smiling, but it is the most contagious gift you can give to other people. So here's a smile for you. I hope you have a fantastic day.