Do you talk to yourself?

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Do you talk to yourself? By that I mean, do you have conversations, words, phrases running through your "head" - like the annoying song that you hate but can't stop singing?

 

Yep, thought so....just stop whatever it is you are doing and listen to your conversation...and I know what you will be thinking now...."stupid woman, how can i stop and listen to myself, with all the stuff that i've got to do....." "What has this go to do with..."

 

just do me a favour and stop will you....what are you hearing? Are you going over the last conversation that you had with your partner? Or with the utility company? Or are you working out the conversation that you need to have with your partner, or the utility company? What are you "telling" yourself and them?

 

What on earth has your inner conversation (dialogue) have to do with motivation? Actually quite a lot. If you are having "bad" conversations with yourself, then how do you think your body is going to react? It will secrete cortisol and adrenaline, your muscles will tighten as if you were having the conversation for real. You see the mind cannot tell real from imagined. It doesn't know if the conversation that you are practising has been and gone, or to come yet....it just knows that you are spending an awful lot of time going over and over and over and over the same stuff....

 

So if that is the case, when we spoke yesterday about comparing yourself to others to determine your success or failure rate, you need to know that the conversations that you had with yourself will reinforce the belief that you are either a complete failure or a success...

 

The conversation that says....."Hey well done, that's great" (to yourself....smug blighter, who on earth does he think he is? I bet he sucked up to the teacher. I could have done better if I had had the same circumstances as he did...I mean....and on and on and on it goes...)

 

It is said we speak about 20,000 words to ourselves each and every day....and most of the time we don't speak nicely! We berate the other drivers for getting in our way. We mock and mimic the people around us (don't beleive me - listen to yourself one day, it's embarrasing), we read something and "tell" the author that "i knew that, god did I pay good money for this "rubbish?"

 

Is it any wonder we have trouble staying motivated with those kinds of conversations running through our heads. Conversations that we don't realise we are having, yet they are affecting ourselves and our behaviours anyway.

 

So what can you do? For every bad thought you have - stick a dollar in a jar - well you'd be bankrupt in a week.

 

Like all new things we need to practice. First of all you needed to know that it was happening. Armed with that knowledge you can listen in to your conversations when you remember to do so, and when you do catch yourself thinking or saying something nasty, then try and stop the conversation. Distract it with something else. Read something that stimulates the mind. Recite the times tables, or poetry you learned as a kid. By the time you have finished, the mind will have forgotten (usually) the fact that it was being horrid.

 

Whilst some people seem to make a study of being nasty, running roughshod over everyone else to get what they want, you will achieve far more if you are "kind" to yourself and your thoughts.

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