First impressions and verbal communication

If I were to ask you "how are you today?" Would you answer with a smile and words that said "I'm doing really well thank you, and you?"

Or would you respond with something along the lines of "I'm OK, I've got a bit of a headache, the drive into work this morning was awful, the kids played up all morning and to cap it all off the dog was sick on the carpet - I hate Friday the 13th...."

I don't know about you, but if I was confronted with the second kind of conversation starter on a regular basis I'd avoid the person like the plague. I mean who wants to listen to a litany of disaster every single morning? And believe me when I say these "negative" types of people can suck the energy out of you faster than air escaping through a hole in a balloon.

But what if that negative person is you? Do people avoid taklking to you these days? Chances are good, you're the one who is constantly whingeing and whining about how bad your life is. How can you tell if it is you that's the problem? Well you need to stop and listen to the words that you speak in conversation. Not tried it? You should, it's very revealing. Like video-taping your performance and trying to catch the errors, except this is in real time.

Depending on your mood, your posture and the confidence you have in yourself and your abilities, your voice and your speech patterns will change. Not convinced? Try slouching when you are speaking to someone on the telephone. The physical act of compressing your lung capacity will have a dramatic effect on the quality and tone of your voice. Slouching also seems to give your mind and body “permission” to lower the quality of the words coming out of your mouth.

How do you sit when you are making an important phone call? Most people sit tall, shoulders back with feet flat on the floor. Next time you receive a phone call from a prospective client try if you can to observe the way that  your body responds to the external stimulus. Similarly, next time you speak to a friend, or someone you know extremely well, watch how your body reacts, and the choice of words that you use.

I am sure there will be people out there who are thinking, what complete and utter garbage. Of course I am going to sit differently when I am talking to family and friends, as opposed to when I am talking to the bank manager – who wouldn’t?

Well, that is all well and good, but most of us do it subconsciously, and we can allow periods of illness, depression (feeling down), when you are hurt and angry, to affect the quality of our voices, and the words that we choose to use, either to ourselves and to those people we interact with.

Whilst most of us will be able to pick up the phone and manage to hold a conversation no matter what our mood is, it is very obvious to the person on the other end of the telephone, what mood you are in. If you are in a sales or customer service role, this can have a huge impact on the money that you make and what is worse, the hard work that you have put into cultivating the relationship will have gone.

But, verbal communication isn’t just about telephone manners, I’m sure we’ve all been to events where someone has dominated the conversation and we have felt a little put out by their attitude and sometimes arrogance to the people around them. We have all seen the bluff and bluster of a sales person who thinks very highly of him/herself, the people who are out to get the sale no matter what, and no matter whether you want the product or not. Or what about the shy, timid person who has trouble raising a smile, let alone have a conversation with you, would you want to do business with any of them?

If you change your thoughts, you can change the words that you use. Change the words that you use and you can change the attitude that you have. And if you change your attitude you can change the way your life turns out.
(MMM1) (MMW1)
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
If you'd like to reproduce any of the material contained on this newsletter, please feel free to do so.I only ask that you ensure  the material is attributed to me, and you provide a link to my website, http://www.motivateme.info

We would like to thank you in advance for forwarding this issue onto family, friends and any other interested readers.  Please note all back issues of this newsletter are available from - http://www.motivateme.info/ezine-archive/

All contents Copyright (c) 2007 Motivateme.info except where indicated otherwise. All rights reserved worldwide. No Spamming or List Sharing - We do not share, nor give out, our subscription list to third parties.