Change can be scary

And I'm not just talking about for ourselves. Today I received an email from a new subscriber. She was concerned that she was not getting help and support from her partner as she moves through a course of study. Whilst I have spoken to our reader directly, I just thought I would remind all our readers that change can be scary for those people we live with and love dearly.

Why should change scare them, after all we're the ones doing all the hard work. Pounding the pavements, eating nothing but salad, studying, putting in hard hours at our places of work.

Well the reasons why it's scary for them is that they can see the changes that you are making to your life, and they are afraid it will take you away from your place in their lives. They may have a fixed idea about you and what you should be doing, and when you break out of that constraint (now bear in mind it is their idea of what the constraints are, not ours) they really don't know how to handle it.

They may fear that if you are thinner, fitter and absolutely gorgeous you'll be off to find a newer model to replace them. Similarly if you are undergoing a course of study so that you can get a better job, they may not like it if now you earn more than they do.

Of course you may be thinking about trading in your partner for a newer model that as they say is up to you, and if you do get that brand new job, you can save money, you can travel, you can even buy that new car....

So what can you do?

Well - you could ignore the jibes and the whingeing if you can. Not many people I know are that good at compartmentalising. Or you could re-assure them that the reasons you have for change are going to benefit everyone. A healthy, fitter you means less medical expenses down the track. OK it also means a new wardrobe, but you know what I mean. It means you now have the energy to chase THEM around the bedroom, play with the kids, run that marathon you've always wanted to run....or whatever your reasons were for starting in the first place. Similarly the new course of study means that you can now have a better standard of living...together.

Work it out as a family. What are the benefits of change? What are the downsides of doing absolutely nothing different in the next 5-10 years.

With many thoughts
Elle
 
 (MMM1) (MMW1)
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