Don't let defeat stop you

Defeat is an interesting word, because it can be used in both a positive way or a negative one. We "defeated" the opposition, or I was "defeated". You can imagine a defeated army, heads bowed, shoulders slumped, dragging their wounded behind them...whilst the victorious side is whooping for joy over the spoils of their hard fought labour.

Which then made me ponder if that is why we use the concept to describe our rate of progress (or not) with regards to goal setting. The old zero sum game - If someone has to win then someone has to lose. But have we ever failed so badly at something that we cannot hope to ever get going again? Of course not, but you'd think so, when we slope off to lick our wounds in the privacy of our pantries.

But who are we battling? Well, if you stop and think about it just a little more - we are rarely pushed off course by anyone - with the exception of ourselves. Nobody forces us to eat to excess, or to only run for 5 minues instead of 30. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to how much we eat, exercise or do each day. We find things to occupy ourselves and will only do that which we want to do.

We are not "defeated", we're the ones holding up the white flag. We're the ones running away from those things that we say that we want, we know all the excuses in the book about why we couldn't finish something, and guess what - we've probably used them all at some time or other.

So - what do you do with your opposing armies? By the way your armies are the non-conscious parts of your brain and the conscious parts of your brain - and together they try and pull us in opposite directions. So, time to take stock of where you are, and who is currently winning. And once you have done that, the two sides usually stop misbehaving, and you can talk peace. Because it's only when you get the two sides in complete agreement do you make any real progress. And you do that by going back to why you say you want something....the reasons you should have listed next to your goals, and if you don't have enough reasons, then your armies will continue fighting. (MMM1)

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