Hiding from fear

Pain and angst occurs as a result of too many conflicting priorities.

If we are taking on too many projects so that we can avoid something else, then it could be argued that we are afraid. By avoiding the item(s) whatever they happen to be – be it making a decision regarding your living or working arrangements, you can avoid the pain of trying something and failing. You agonise over the decisions that you are facing, you lose sleep over the mental  processing that you are doing. What happens at this point is that you rationalise that the job that you have isn’t that bad. Besides, what would happen if you did apply for another job and you didn’t get it? Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be if people found out you had been rejected.

If your relationship with your partner is poor, but you are afraid to seek counselling or to break free and ask for a divorce. You rationalise that by keeping busy, taking on more duties and responsibilities at work, signing on to every committee and boards you can find, you can avoid going home. In the back of your mind however, there is another reason why you don’t want to face your partner. By admitting that your relationship is not as good as it could be, would mean that you would also have to face the pain and angst of telling the rest of the family especially the children, and you don’t want to admit that you’ve failed, not to them. Besides then there is the financial side to tack on to the emotional side as well, you rationalise that keeping busy and staying away from the “problem” is a solution that works for you.

You feel that the benefits and payoffs in this instance are worth the added stress and pressure that goes with the extra work.

What benefits and payoffs are your current behaviours giving you? Because there is always a benefit and payoff - you decide to forgo your evening exercise for an early night, beer and pizza. Short term benefit in this case of instant gratification rather than long term benefits gained by exercising, which could extend your lifespan by months if not years.

Once you know what your benefits and payoffs are, you can begin to make progress towards overcoming your procrastination habits.
(MMW1)
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