You can't do that! Reverse Psychology Can Work Wonders
--------------------------
Today's daily dose: You can't do that! Reverse Psychology Can Work Wonders
---------------------------
Has anyone tried to tell you you couldn't do something?
I've had it thrown at me all the time. You can't do that - you're too old, you're unfit, you're a female, you're too fat, you'll just fail - just like you always do.
Now depending on my mood and my sometimes fragile ego, I will sometimes agree with the person. Which happened once when a doctor told me it was a) my age b) my hormones and c) that fact that I was a female and it was to be expected. Turns out the doctor was talking a load of bunkum and I did have a major problem that could only be cured by surgery. Amazing what happens when you say - I'm actually not happy with that answer I'm going to get a second opinion. Well it took me another 12 months of problems before getting my second opinion - but I did it in the end. And ended the problem once and for all. I know you're going to ask - Adenomyosis....For the curious I'll let you google the term.
But when I don't let my fragile ego doesn't get in the way, more often than not, I will say - well that's what you think - but i'm doing it anyway.
Now the people who are telling me I can't do something probably never heard of the term "reverse psychology" but telling me I can't do something (especially today) is like a red cape to a bull....out of my way I'm ....
Now this post isn't about being sexist in any way shape or form. As in the doctor was a male and I hate all men as a result. Not so. In fact, a friend of mine was told she would never amount to anything - by her sister. It can happen to all of us from time to time, quite often from people who like to think they have power over you and don't want you to change. Because if you do, that means you won't "like" them anymore. Or whatever their personal reasons are.
Believe me, it's so nice to be able to prove people wrong.
So, if your normal tendency is to agree with the negative comments and to slouch off to a corner and lick your wounds, today I would like you to say "thank you for your opinion, but I'm going to do some additional analysis and research on the topic and I will make up my own mind...."
Now obviously if you are the kind of person to hurtle headlong into a situation and find yourself struggling to keep your head above water, as in you tried and failed a zillion times (is that a number?) maybe you do need to listen a little more closely to any advice being offered. Just make sure the advice is coming from a source that is genuinely trying to help you as opposed to - just trying to stop you succeeding.
Remember, we don't fail because we don't keep on trying. We fail when we stop trying at all.
Speak soon
Elle
October 29, 2008 at 18:33
Reader Comments (2)
Fear can be a many headed thing. You think you have one item sorted out, and another one rears up, which can kick the old one back into play.
Don't be afraid of fear (as strange as that sounds) IMHO all fear is doing is trying to protect you from being "hurt". It's like a having a nanny constantly watching over you.
When you work out what "it" is trying to protect you from, you can move ahead.
It does take some working out - believe me, but the relief when you do - its palpable.
One thing to do - go for a walk and work through your fears one by one, like peeling back an onion - layer by layer. The rythmn of walking is soothing to the body whilst the mind works. Sounds really new age, but it is a tool that works.
As you walk, talk to yourself ... then pretend you are your own trusted advisor and answer yourself. Sounds like a case for the men in white coats. Well given that we do talk to ourselves at the tune of about 60,000 words every day, why not make some of them work for you instead of against you.
And let me know how you get on.
Kind Regards
Elle