Supporting yourself

There are some times when it may seem like you have no-one in your corner. No-one to turn to when you need to talk. Everyone has their own set of problems and issues and they're not interested in listening to yours.

So what can you do?

Well there are several options open to you:

• Do nothing and hope things work out in the end
• Get a life coach or mentor to work with you to sort out your problems and issues
• Call the Samaritans or crisis helpline - and believe me, there are times when these people really can save your life.
• Get therapy - there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help or
• Be your own support system.

I've tried all of the above over the years and believe me there are some times

 when each of these options are completely viable for wherever you happen to be in your life at any particular point in time.

But perhaps the one I use the most often is the last one. I am my biggest supporter, I am also my own biggest critic. For those of you who know me well, with attest to being more of the latter than the former however. And the reason was simple - I'd forgotten one basic principle. A supporter is one who is there for you. I've been missing in action for myself quite a few times. Those times when I've said one thing and done something else. Every time I wasted time doing stupid things instead of those things that mattered. A supporter is the kind of person who should pull you up and say "hey - you're being a complete idiot ..." as well as - "you know what, today you did a fantastic job - well done I am proud of you."

So here is an exercise for you. It's an amazing eye opener if you care to take the time to do this for yourself.

Do you remember being in love? Do you remember falling in love? Do you remember hand writing letters and notes to your lover? Do you remember spending every waking moment wondering how you can enhance that person's life and your relationship?

That's the kind of relationship you need to have with you.

Set aside half an hour to an hour. Find some writing paper, a pen and a place to write. Personally I find using the dining room table the perfect place to write. It's away from the main desk where the computer is so I can't get distracted by pop ups and abstract whirring. Then I want you to write a letter to yourself. Pretend you are looking at yourself through someone else's eyes. What do you "see", what advice would you offer that person? What words of encouragement would you use? What would you suggest that person does to get through a particular issue?

Write from the heart, address it just as you would any other letter you write to a person you care about, sign it, and then I want you to post it to yourself. That's right, put it in an envelope and I want you to put a stamp on it and put it in the mail system.

And the reason is simple. There will be at least a day between sending the letter and receiving it. When you receive it, open it and read it. And then I would like you to write back - I know it sounds bizarre, but believe me there are many insights waiting for you if you care to try this exercise. It's not the same as journal writing, which is something I also do - but a letter of support from me to me ... it's also sometimes  a kick  in the pants when I get something completely wrong.

And in my opinion it can only be done through the art of hand writing.