Don't flog a dead horse

If you have tried every which way you know to sort out an issue you have - and nothing has worked - then stop - you are probably trying too hard.

When all you can see is a "problem" you will never focus on solutions. (I love cliche's - they are soooo true).

The truth is there are probably a dozen, maybe 2 dozen solutions to every "problem" you are facing right now. And more to the point - you have thought about them, but dismissed them as being "unsuitable" for you and your current set of issues. It's quite normal to do that, but "normal" isn't going to get you anywhere. What you know you have to do is take one of the solutions you have already dismissed AND apply it to where you are now and what you are facing. It may be painful to admit that you have a problem, but it's even more of a pain to continue flogging the same dead horse when you know it isn't going anywhere.

What would you say to a friend or colleague who came to you with "your" problems? What advice would you give them? Stop thinking about "you" just for a moment, and think about "it" ... as Gene Hunt said it is "time to fire up the flip chart". Get creative, get the pens out and start to work out what advice you would give your "friend" if they were faced with your set of problems. I've said this once or twice before - but you then DO need to take your own advice.

The truth is, every problem you are facing is holding you back. You may like having "problems" because they mean you don't have to focus too hard on the future, and by future I mean - beyond the problem - because as far as you are concerned the problem will never be solved.

Do you like the thought of being unable to move forwards? Is that the real reason why you continue to repeat your patterns of behavior? You think you are moving forwards - but deep down you know you are not.

SO - it is time to do some homework, and don't you just hate it when I say that. I know there are a lot of younger people who read this e-zine and believe when I say to you, we all have problems. It's how we deal with them that's the key. This is going to be hard for you - but try not to let the "adults" in your life, drag you down with their negative thinking. Truth is - you can be anything you want to be, go anywhere, do anything - and that scares them. They will say to you things like "when I was your age, we had to get a job / we already had a house and a mortgage / what do you mean you want to be a ..... "

These are fear based comments, based on their insecurities. You see if you didn't know what you couldn't do - you would do ANYTHING you wanted - and isn't that exciting!

So - to all the "adults" out there - I say to you once more

* Stop doing the same things. Your problems will never be solved if you continue to do the same things in the same way - you know that, so stop doing it - it's the dead horse - and we don't flog those, not in 2010.
* Take your own advice and apply it - today to one of your problems. Face them, deal with them and move on. It's hard - it's potentially embarrassing - but we don't die from embarrassment. But we will die eventually and do we want to get to the end of our lives filled with unfulfilled dreams and a myriad of problems we could have fixed but didn't?
* Look at things from the perspective of - if you didn't know you couldn't - then why not do it. Challenge your way of thinking and you will improve your way of life.

With many thoughts
Elle

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