Is it as simple as ... this?

Instead of saying to yourself ...

• I can't do this
• I can't cope
• I can't handle this

you say to yourself

what would happen if ...

• what would happen if I could do this
• what would happen if I could cope
• what would happen if I were able to handle this

This is important because it shifts your thinking away from a probable negative outcome of

"Can't" and the other equally negative "Shan't"

I shan't be able to cope, I shan't be able to handle this ...

To a more positive outlook that says, maybe I can and maybe I should ...

When you start using this very simple technique, you begin to fill in the answers of how you could do this, how you could cope and how you can handle it - almost automatically. You can also use it in many other ways:

• what would happen if ... I ate only healthy food today, how good am I going to feel?
• what would happen if my hubby and I went for a nightly walk after work, we can de-stress and get some exercise in at the same time
• what would happen if I called on my top clients and asked them how their Christmas and New year break was, and if there was anyway I could help them to start 2011 in a better way

One thing I know for sure is this. The I can't cope, I can't handle this, stems I believe from fear. Fear of moving away from our zone of comfort into unfamiliar territory. But in order to grow and to change, we need to do just that. All well and good she says - but is it possible?

For example, you've been asked to make a presentation to your fellow employees, you've never stood in front of a group pf people before and the thought of doing so dries up your mouth, your stomach churns and you dread falling flat on your face or forgetting your words... but what would happen if you had already given 20 or 30 presentations - one more isn't going to faze you in the slightest is it. And the difference?

Confidence and practice.

There will always be an element of fear in our lives, especially when we are learning or trying something new for the first time, or even the first 10 times. But with practice and with patience for yourself and your rather unruly emotions, you will succeed. You will move from a place of "I can't cope" to a "you know what ... I can cope with this". And as you succeed with each little thing, your self-esteem can only grow, which makes it easier for you to move onwards and upwards.

So

What would happen if in 2011 we could all learn that we can cope, we can achieve great things and we can handle whatever comes our way.

With many thoughts

Elle