Some people advocate that you should "feel the fear and do it anyway", that it is the fear of the unknown that is holding us back. Personally I think it is the fear of the known than can and does have a bigger impact on our lives than what we don't know about.

We know for instance that if we touch something hot we are going to get burnt. We know the dentist is likely to hurt us (because it always has done in the past), and to make matters worse, the sound of the drill can have you running for cover before you can say root-canal. We avoid situations, people and places because of the "pain" that is associated with them.

Now, before I go on, "pain" of course does not have to be physical, but can and does include emotional and psychological pain. As someone once said "words are by far the most powerful weapon ever used". We get embarrased when someone makes fun of us, we can be harassed and abused through the use of certain words and behaviours that are anything but physical, and we remember the hurt and the pain caused by those people. So much so, that if we think about those persons again, our bodies react in the same way as if we had just had the encounter. Our non-conscious thought processes decide that we should be protected from this kind of pain in the future, will transmit signals to the conscious brain. Anxiety and feelings of dread seep into our bodies and they take on physical symptoms. You won't feel well, and all of a sudden you feel you have a valid excuse for not being somewhere or doing something.

If you think you have a valid excuse not to be somewhere or doing something because of a memory held in your non-conscious thought processes, you have just succumbed to the fear factor. You persuade yourself that you are unable, that you are too sick, in fact you will do anything to get out of doing whatever it is. This may seem like a subtle nudge, but it can and does have devastating effects over the long term.

Why the long term?

Well imagine that you have just succumbed to the prodding that you can't possibly do something because you're sick, you have just given your body and your mind permission to play that particular game again. Your body has to secrete less and less anxiety hormones to trigger the same effects, and your excuses seem to become more valid, the more times you have to use them.

Does that mean we are unable to function in the real world? Of course not, but  the question is - are you functioning as well as you could be? Could you function better if you weren't giving yourself permission to be afraid?