And lets face it, not everyone wants to have fun, enjoyment and laughter - they're happy being unhappy thank you very much. Well if that's you - you'll like these - well maybe, if you can be bothered to click on the link.

No, do click the link, because this will ensure you waste even more time when you know you should be working.

The art of demotivation.

Otherwise known as calling in sick when your attempts to procrastinate further has fallend into the demand from your boss to just "give me the damn report".

Of course the clever procrastinator won't just stop at a stomach bug, migraine or putting your back out. Doctors Certificates are a great way to go, especially if you can show a high level of stress caused by your bosses unrealistic demands on your time. You see by the time you've returned from stress leave, the offending item in question will have been completed, hopefully by the boss who was feeling guilty because they asked you to do the job in the first place.

It would mean taking everything you've accumulated in and around your desk and you just can't be bothered to find a box to put it in.

.All those books and journal articles for when you get around to reading them
.Plants, pictures and associated nicknacks
.Radio, so you can tune out the sound of all those people who are typing and talking loudly to clients on the telephone
. Cardigans and cushions, oh and those slippers you wear around the office cos your feet hurt.

Getting a new job would also mean reading the job section in the paper each week until you found the perfect job. Of course you could just call up the employment agency and let them do the work for you, then if it didn't work out at least you'd have someone to blame.

But you know what, getting a new hob mught be alright, the pay might be betterm but you'd have to meet all those new people. and sometimes it's better the devil you know isn't it.

If I were you, I'd waiti until you're more in the mood before you start looking after all you wouldn't want to rush things.

The excuses:
1. The traffic was terrible
2. The kids were playing up and they wouldn't get into the car
3. I had a flat tyre/battery and had to wait for the RAC
4. There was an accident blocking the road you use
5. There was a badger in the signal box at Woking (Ok I stole that one from Reginald Perrin)
6. Your pet cat/dog/budgie/hamster escaped and you couldn't find them
7. You forgot the report you were working on last night and you had to go back and fetch it
8. You were up so late finishing the report/proposal /Expression of Interest that you didn't hear the alarm (which works well with previous excuse)

The real reasons:
1. You hit the snooze button so many times you didn't get up in time
2. Your girl/boy friend stayed over and you were too busy fooling around to notice the time
3. You overslept - well it's true
4. You forgot to switch on the alarm clock in your drunken stupor
5. The accident you saw on the way to work was actually caused by you swerving in your lane when trying to put on your make-up/brush your hair/drink your coffee/eat your healthy macdonalds breakfast
6. And you decided to stop and take  a look.

First day back at work, are you strugling to find inspiration today? Then:

1. Eat - feed your body if you can't feed your mind
2. Read the paper - you'll need to catch up on all the latest goings on since you've been away
3. Make another cup of coffee - I bet you're struggling to keep your eyes open today, so you'll need the extra caffeine.
4. Kick around a few ideas with your colleagues - after all if you are struggling to get going, chances are going to be good that so are they.
5. Call an impromptu meeting to discuss the latest projects. Everyone does your thinking for you and if you are careful you may be able to offload some or all of the work sitll needed to be done, onto others who haven't yet learnt the true art of procrastinating yet.
6. Pretend to read the latest industry news and journals, but always have your own reading material, so you can look busy whilst doing your own thing.
7. Read your screensaver
8. Send the rude jokes out to everyone on your contact lists.
9. Search the net for more jokes and pass those on as well.
10. Read the latest headlines on all the major news sites, added bonus, you have lots to discuss with your colleagues when you - stop by for a chat, meet them in the kitchen when making your 10th cup of coffee